i just google imaged poop.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
