This is not my ceiling
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My penis needs a shock collar
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
