I wannas sexs uuuuu
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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