you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
