i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
