i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize