Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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