he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
