Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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