This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize