Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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