just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
