We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
