We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
ttyl tear gas
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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