With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
