"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
