On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
and she was petting her beer can
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
