I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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