I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
