real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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