I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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