addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize