The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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