he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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