So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
