omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
