Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize