If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
