her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
