So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize