I'm really into asian looking animals
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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