remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize
