his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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