"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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