I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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