Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
