Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
