I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
