My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
