you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize