Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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