Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize