i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
