i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
