No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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