apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
