Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
