Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
