then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
