Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
