dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
