is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
