He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
