I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
