im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
