You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
is this the sara with the beer cane?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
