its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
