Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
