i would punch a child for taco bell
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
