the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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